I didn't know what i write in my own blog could cause so much ruckus..
Like getting smses, followed by two long msgs thru' friendster wasn't enuff,..i got an unexpected fone call too..
NO. This is not to accommodate to their feelingz or for making up watsoever.
I'm not good at sucking up & i feel dat watever i say, is going to be taken against me.
So why bother..
Think wat u wanna think, say wat u wanna say..
Here goes..
I dun juz write things to make myself feel good..neither do i write things juz to make myself look good..i write things i wanna write about..i write things wen i feel like writing & wen i've got the tym to..in situations whereby if i am in the wrong, i'd write that i am wrong..& if im right, i am right..i dun write to gain "sympathy votes"..this is my blog & i believe the right is mine to express my own thotz & feelingz..it is sumthing i hardly do, personali, even to my own family memberz nor ma close frenz..this is my CHOICE.
Writing in my own blog is the onli means of at least sharing a pc of myself, wenever i feel like doing so..i dun go around telling ma probz to the world..so tell me how is it wrong to even write a lil' bt maself in my own blog?..am i being too self-centred?..am i being too self-absorbed?..am i being too selfish?..i mean, u guys tell me wat YOU write in YOUR blog..izzit about other ppl or izzit mainly about yourself?..if wat im doin' in MY own blog, is juz showing how "the world revolves around me", same goes to everyone else whoz got a blog den..again, this is my CHOICE.
Like Kak Ef's wordz, YOU CHOSE TO READ..So, read at ur own risk.
The two of you..thank u for explaining things..im beginning to think dat either the msgs came from the same person, or dat there is only one person in the first place..God knows..but i dun wanna noe..
To another..took you this long to suddenly tell me all this?..after so many years?..after so many things had happened?..after so many things that u guyz haf went thru'?..
Acceptance?..in the first place, were u forced to?..was i forced to?..were we forced to?..y all the questionz & doubtz?..most importantly, why only now?..
Blame me for keeping it to maself..blame us for keeping it to ourselves..how bt u?..obviously wif all these questionz, u had doubtz yourself..so y only now?..
M i being insensitive to your needs?..are we?..Wat did i do wrong?..wat did we do wrong?..or rather, wat did i, or we, not do?..izzit juz bcoz u're feeling the way u are now dat everything else seems oblivious to u?..then tell me wat u want me to do?..give u more motivation?..wat??..tell me!..no one can make u feel the way u're feeling if u dun let them..i noe dat for a fact coz i do most of the tym..
True enough, im no angel..
Yeah, i get away wif everything dun i?..
I heard that smirk of yourz..
Well, maybe for that im lucky..but den again, maybe im not..
Coz it shows how my bond wif him really is..
Believe me, i do get my fair share of punishments..& itz not necessarily visible to everyone else..not u..not anyone..u dunoe dat..
As per quote, 'to each his/her own'..i haf my own reasons for doing the things i do..so do u & everyone else..
I can't convince u to like me..nor can i convince u to accept me for who i am..
But this is how it is & how itz gonna be..
I wish u juz stop thinking dat we dun think of u..of how u feel and so on and so forth..do u reali feel not loved?..pls dun blame otherz for your own insecurities..
'Sorry' is a word i seem to use alot in my own blog..
Maybe the things i say & even the things i dun say, offends ppl in one way or another..for that i guess, im sorry..
Like i've said, im one who puts on a smile everyday despite the darkness inside of me..no one knows how & what i really feel..i guess dat explains y im alwayz being misunderstood..but like i said, this is my CHOICE.
Though as bad as how im feeling or as cruel i feel life is to me, i do noe that there are people who're experiencing much worst..dat i do noe..
But i reali dun nid ppl to start assuming dis & dat about or for me..start putting words in my mouth..and i especiali dun nid ppl to take my words against me..
Yes, i tend to keep to myself..& for that i can't blame otherz for not understanding me, can i?..
No, im not complaining..but again, this is my CHOICE.
Like getting smses, followed by two long msgs thru' friendster wasn't enuff,..i got an unexpected fone call too..
NO. This is not to accommodate to their feelingz or for making up watsoever.
I'm not good at sucking up & i feel dat watever i say, is going to be taken against me.
So why bother..
Think wat u wanna think, say wat u wanna say..
Here goes..
I dun juz write things to make myself feel good..neither do i write things juz to make myself look good..i write things i wanna write about..i write things wen i feel like writing & wen i've got the tym to..in situations whereby if i am in the wrong, i'd write that i am wrong..& if im right, i am right..i dun write to gain "sympathy votes"..this is my blog & i believe the right is mine to express my own thotz & feelingz..it is sumthing i hardly do, personali, even to my own family memberz nor ma close frenz..this is my CHOICE.
Writing in my own blog is the onli means of at least sharing a pc of myself, wenever i feel like doing so..i dun go around telling ma probz to the world..so tell me how is it wrong to even write a lil' bt maself in my own blog?..am i being too self-centred?..am i being too self-absorbed?..am i being too selfish?..i mean, u guys tell me wat YOU write in YOUR blog..izzit about other ppl or izzit mainly about yourself?..if wat im doin' in MY own blog, is juz showing how "the world revolves around me", same goes to everyone else whoz got a blog den..again, this is my CHOICE.
Like Kak Ef's wordz, YOU CHOSE TO READ..So, read at ur own risk.
The two of you..thank u for explaining things..im beginning to think dat either the msgs came from the same person, or dat there is only one person in the first place..God knows..but i dun wanna noe..
To another..took you this long to suddenly tell me all this?..after so many years?..after so many things had happened?..after so many things that u guyz haf went thru'?..
Acceptance?..in the first place, were u forced to?..was i forced to?..were we forced to?..y all the questionz & doubtz?..most importantly, why only now?..
Blame me for keeping it to maself..blame us for keeping it to ourselves..how bt u?..obviously wif all these questionz, u had doubtz yourself..so y only now?..
M i being insensitive to your needs?..are we?..Wat did i do wrong?..wat did we do wrong?..or rather, wat did i, or we, not do?..izzit juz bcoz u're feeling the way u are now dat everything else seems oblivious to u?..then tell me wat u want me to do?..give u more motivation?..wat??..tell me!..no one can make u feel the way u're feeling if u dun let them..i noe dat for a fact coz i do most of the tym..
True enough, im no angel..
Yeah, i get away wif everything dun i?..
I heard that smirk of yourz..
Well, maybe for that im lucky..but den again, maybe im not..
Coz it shows how my bond wif him really is..
Believe me, i do get my fair share of punishments..& itz not necessarily visible to everyone else..not u..not anyone..u dunoe dat..
As per quote, 'to each his/her own'..i haf my own reasons for doing the things i do..so do u & everyone else..
I can't convince u to like me..nor can i convince u to accept me for who i am..
But this is how it is & how itz gonna be..
I wish u juz stop thinking dat we dun think of u..of how u feel and so on and so forth..do u reali feel not loved?..pls dun blame otherz for your own insecurities..
'Sorry' is a word i seem to use alot in my own blog..
Maybe the things i say & even the things i dun say, offends ppl in one way or another..for that i guess, im sorry..
Like i've said, im one who puts on a smile everyday despite the darkness inside of me..no one knows how & what i really feel..i guess dat explains y im alwayz being misunderstood..but like i said, this is my CHOICE.
Though as bad as how im feeling or as cruel i feel life is to me, i do noe that there are people who're experiencing much worst..dat i do noe..
But i reali dun nid ppl to start assuming dis & dat about or for me..start putting words in my mouth..and i especiali dun nid ppl to take my words against me..
Yes, i tend to keep to myself..& for that i can't blame otherz for not understanding me, can i?..
No, im not complaining..but again, this is my CHOICE.
"I'm never going to show you how broken I am inside..
I am never going to show you how much I need you in my life..
You'll never hear me say that I miss you or find out that you're the reason that I cry..
You'll never catch me..
because you'll never see me fall..
I'm just going to keep everything inside and smile through all the pain..
and even though I'm breaking down,..i'll always manage to stay sane..
I'll never show you what you want to see..i'm never going to let you see through me.."
DaTz jUz mE..
..EmY..
FemmeFatale @ 9:07 AM |
2 CoMenTaRioS
