Someone once told me dat he sang dis song to a special gal in his life...
He ever sang it to me & itz been playing inside ma head eversince..
Deep meaningz behind it which can be interpreted in one way or another..
Up to individual to have your own version of explanation..
Renungkan..... (",)


Kau Pergi Jua (Adam Ahmad)

Wajahmu
Seindah serinya pelangi yang indah
Seharum mawar putih segar berkembang
Wajahmu
Mengapa sering terbayang dimataku
Sehingga terbawa didalam mimpiku

Sayangku
Tahukah kau didalam hatiku ini
Tersimpan perasaan cinta nan suci
Kau bunga
Ingin kusuntingmu menjadi milikku
Lantas kuabadikan dalam jiwaku

Sayangnya
Harapan yang selama ini kubawa
Hancur berkecai musnah jua akhirnya
Semuanya bagaikan sebuah mimpi

Kau pergi jua
Setelah cinta ku kini membara
Belum sempat kucurahkan kasihku
Kau pergi tak kembali..

FemmeFatale @ 9:49 AM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

"..When you become the victim of a hateful heart, trust your soul and walk away.."

I believe therez sumone out there fer each of us..
So no matter what happenz, dun despair..itz hard but im trying..
No point brooding abt da past..may hurt now,..but itz juz a phase..
Tym to move on to other thingz..other prioritiez..other ppl..
To think of it, you'll alwayz gain from a broken relationship..lessonz you'll never forget..
They make you much wiser..more patient..& more matured..
Gotta stay positive.....right, Shemz? (",)


Masih Ada Cinta (New Boyz)

Masih Ada Cinta
Terungkaplah kata
Cinta terlerai di tabir senja
Adakah ini dugaan dari Nya
Kau berpura menyinta sepenuh jiwa

Terungkaplah madah
Kasih terkubur di laman cinta
Hati terhiris sendu meratapi
Pengorbanan ku tidak engkau hargai

Telah sekian lama
Ku cuba mencari di mana silapnya
Hati mu berubah
Keegoan semakin memuncak
Siapakah diri ku setelah hadirnya
Di dalam hidup mu
Cepat kau berpaling mendustai kasih

Curahan rindu tiada maknanya
Harapan menjadi kenangan
Ku berdoa semoga kau bahagia
Disamping insan yang kau cinta

Ku rela perpisahan
Kerana ku yakin
Masih ada cinta..


"The heart does heal and you will love like this again..only when you do, you will deny you ever felt like this before.."

FemmeFatale @ 6:16 AM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

Ma comment was missing from THE blog..hmmm..wrote sumthing like, "Nice dat u poured evrything here..Herez ma reply..[Link]"..hilang entah ke mane..sumthing fishy ar..guess ma side of da story is not wanted to be exposed?..hmmm.. *wOnDeRz*

Oh well..movin' on..

Had concerned fwenz contacting me regarding ma last entry..
Thankz darlingz..million thankz for caring..closed fwenz would noe dat im not a person who'd be upfront abt ma feelingz..in fact, i'd rather listen to pplz probz than discussing ma own..dis tym ard, i was 'forced' to explain maself..no intention to spite anyone, nor to gain sympathy..but i guess i was pushed to da limitz..otherwise, it'll probably still be bottled up inside of me..gosh..a flaw of mine?..yeah mebbe..often drivez me crazy..literali..
Thank God, He kept me sane..

Alhamdulillah..

Niwayz,..overtimed @ werk on Saturday morning..some of ma colleaguez suggested havin' breakfast together-gether @ Tiong Baru...would've joined them but i was too lethargic..wanted to go home swit home...had to wake up in a few hourz aniway..planz...

Woke up @ ard two plus...met up wif one of ma darlin' fwen...supposed to mit @ 4.30...was late...as per normal lah kan...nasib baek dia tak marah...lagipun, so far, asyik me yg kena tunggu dia...so once in awhile tu, oklah kan... ;p me itot dia shopping satu town...originali da plan to go down to town, was coz i wanted to find ma dweam bracelet @ Galleria,..sadly, i dun see it no more.. :.{ like ma fwen, Zul would say, "stooooopid like hell!~"..
Niwayz, over da recent happeningz, couldn't reali concentrate on evrything datz goin’ on ard me..many thingz kip lingering in ma mind..kena migraine lagik..sakit seh kepala otak..cam nak pecah..mungkin tak cukop tido..entahlah..

Ard seven plus, jumpe Che'mong @ Yishun...a place I feel awkward to be in..
Adelah citer nye..*SiGh*
Niwayz, she picked me up in da cab she was on from home, & we went to her poly fwenz houz…dis particular Kak Wana was getting hitched @ 8.30...luckily we managed to arrive in tym...da whole setting was unique & lovely...juz like da couple.....
Smoga berkekalan ke akhir hayat.....

From Watyz chalet, ingat nak mit up ngan Mimi & geng…jorangz pi sheesha @ Bugis…but by da tym we kol’d them ard 11+, jorangz pun dah nak belah pi balek Tamp to eat pat Mac…ade yg balek teros coz jorangz ade show org kawin da next day…keshiannn nah lah… *NOT!~* kHeKhEkhEeE... ;p *pEaCe²*

Niwayz, we went to Tamp but dint feel like eating again since we’re aldy so full..had loadz to eat @ da chalet…Che’mong plak feeling² nak watch midnite movie…ajak da guyz, jorangz tanak..fenatz lah, sok show kena bgn pagi lah, pe lah..so we decided to carry on still..we got to watch da “Wedding Crasher”…it was freekin’ hilarious!~…it certainly perked me up for da day…me & Mon couldn’t stop laughing everytym we re-enact sum partz of da movie…kekek seh…i loikeee…!~ (“,)

After da movie, we dint feel like going home juz yet..too many thingz bothering me anyway..we went to ma fav ‘thinking’ place - East Coast…we chilled there thru’out da nite...pi mamamz pat mac,...den kite pi beach...had trouble at first finding a place to sit & it was so bloody cold seh..we spotted a bench but there was aldy two foreign men sitting there..buat pe entah...'gonjeng' kottt!~ gHeGhEghEeE… ;p den a stoopid idea came to ma cramped up mind..told Che’mong, “y dun we talk about lesbian stuff so dat da guyz will be disgusted, & dat’ll make them go away, & we can haf da bench for ourselvez!~”…KewL eghk???!~ HuAhUahuAaA… ;p tapi tak lah…tak try pun…Monis takot if da plan backfirez...ne tahu they'll get excited instead biler dgr kite citer², pas tu nak join in skalik ke…
Sukerrrkkk???...mamposss lah…..

Sunday, kite serbu dua weddingz…satu pat Yishun & the other at Serangoon...we took Kak Ju's car...didn’t get to see da show da guyz were performing for coz by da tym we reached Serangoon, da guyz were aldy on da bus preparing to go back to cc..too bad..

Niwayz, after dat, went to Kak Juz place…tukar baju & sempat straight kan rambot cikit u...sukerrr kite…aritu, i wasn’t in a dress-up mood so juz brought t-shirt & jeanz..well..itz those tym of da month u noe..den i wasn’t feelin’ comfy in da shirt plak..sooo uncomfy dat i went to Giordanoz @ TM & bought a pink Mickey Mouse tee fer maself…well…for those of you who dunoe,…dis is a wacky habit of mine…wen i juz dun feel good or juz feelin’ so ‘eeeky’ bt maself, i’d juz go, buy & wear…of coz, if I’ve got da money lah…KhEkHekhEeE… ;p

Before i bought ma shirt, sempat singgah Starbux to meet up wif Akim & geng…den ter-meet Nizam, Shahril & geng…sukerkkk…dah cam 'Kampong Clap²' lah pulak kan…niwayz, pas dah belik baju tukar smua, Afni picked Che’mong & maself up in her cab from home, & we proceeded to town…there, met up wif Abg Yus (Monis’ fwen), Zee (met her during ma 3mthz pre-U in OI & den Sriwana…got to noe a couple of yearz ago dat she & Mon are childhood fwenz…such a small world…KewL eghk! ;p), & oso dis gerl I got to noe as a senior in Sriwana too…forgot her name tho’..ermmm…..

A while later, Kak Ju came wif Nizam & Shahril to join us…kite smua chill² @ Four Seasonz nye Starbux…some had to go off aldy while da rest stayed till abt 11+ gituk…surprisingly, Shahril had a pwezie fer me!~ a belated one…so shwittt…he felt bad fer not getting me anything on ma party…speaking of which, got 3 pwezies waiting fer me wen i came back to werk last week after ma party - courtesy of Hernah, Helmy & Eila…so touched!~…den on Monday, got pwezies from Che’mong, Kak Ef & ma fellow IBMerz…wow…feelz like Christmas!~ ;p mekacehz lah smua…buat susah jekkk…am so thankful…

Aminnn…..

FemmeFatale @ 1:12 AM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

In reply to an entry by a blogger..

Hey Stranger..

I think u've got me wrong..yeah i've said it,..u moved on too fast..as u yourself admitz it..dun care bt da moving on wif whoever part..but it juz botherz me how u could do so almost immediately, after everything datz happened..makez me doubt if da one year meant anything or made any impact at all..in fact, makez me think if it was all indeed a BIG FAT LIE..

How do u expect one to feel when u asked them back one day, da person turnz it down, & u INSTANTLY got another replacement on hand?..was it all pre-planned?..why'd u haf to play wif wordz like dat?..why was feelingz being played?..again,..y?..

Yes..
I regretted asking u down to ma party coz i thot dat would make mama hapi..turned out to be a major disappointment for her..u couldn't possibly imagine da regret i feel had u seen fer yourself how she cried..dammit!~..
Sememangnye i invited u willingly..dgn seikhlas hati..walaupun we had a stupid fight few dayz before..i was juz so excited to see your parentz again..i've missed them so much..but den,..had i known da heartbreak it would cause mama,..... *SoBz*

Haiz..

You know yourself whether u've changed or not..
You said it to ma face & deny it now?..contradicting?..*pSeUdOz* da word..
Im not gonna touch further on dis..u can think fer yourself..as you've said, you've matured..

Yes..
Im already movin' on..like i said in da mail wich mebbe u forgot to mention,..u'll be hearing thingz abt me sooner or later..Insya'Allah..

No..
Ma apologiez if wat i said in da mail, or wat i haf been saying to you all dis while, was purely blaming u..but if i was, why da hell do i kip apologizing all along for?..even wen itz not ma fault?..den y?..i noe how to think u..i noe i've done u wrong maself..lotz of wrong right?..but i dun go on not realizing ma own first..cerminkan diri sendiri dahulu..bukan begitu?..renungkanlah..

Yes..
So your heart was taken by someone..im not surprised..good fer u..
& to dis someone, take care of him & his parentz..Insya'Allah, u guyz will be a happy everlasting couple..dis i say, wif full of sincerity from da bottom of ma heart..no liez..no sarcasm..no pun intended..
Fer me, im not jealous..sumpah demi Allah..if im in a state of denial abt dat, i would bravely admit it..tapi sememangnye emy sendiri dah tawar hati..been dat long & been thru' too much maself..da hell i've been thru' all dis while, hanya Tuhan saje yg tahu..the only one whoz been reali there fer me is mama ku sayang..got her worried too much..too often.. *TeArY*
No..not juz bcoz of us..itz coz of ma family..ma dad..ma siblingz..ma freekin' life..again, no..im not blaming u solely..i juz wish u'd be more careful wif your choice of wordz & try to understand fully wat i've been trying to convey to you all dis while..

Yes..
I believe, everything happenz for a reason..& i oso believe, in Karma..
Like u said, ini pendirian masing-masing..

Fer now, be it..letz move on..to a new chapter of our lifez..

Past is past..

To your fellow fwenz, old & new, especiali those i've hung out wif before,..no offense is intended against your dear fren..hez happy wif u guyz & appreciatez alot da joy dat u bring him..i sincerely apologize for da hurt dat i've caused him & am thankful to u guyz for making him happy when i was not..

To ma own fellow fwenz, thankz for da support u've been giving me..
Friendshipz are alwayz precious to me & i reali appreciate you all..





Peace out maself..

FemmeFatale @ 11:02 PM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

pseudo
adj : (often used in combination) not genuine but having the appearance of; "a pseudo esthete"; "pseudoclassic" n : a person who makes deceitful pretenses [syn: imposter, impostor, pretender, fake, faker, fraud, sham, shammer, pseud, role player]

..A new word i juz learnt two dayz ago..had come across it a couple of tymz before but never reali knew da meaning till now..kinda ironic when i've been talking abt hypocrisy, lies & such..hmm..funny how i tetiba bumped to dis word again sesaat begini eghk..

Haiz..

Niwayz, i suddenly remembered abt something i wanted to share wif ya guyz thru' here soon after ma party..tapi syik terlupa lah pulak..

As i've mentioned before, i got alot of splendid giftz from ma beloved family & fwenz...
I oso did mention abt some handmade giftz i got too...well, after their hardwork, i thot i'd give them da credit by personali describing how wonderful they actuali are...

I got dis particular gift from one of ma fwenz i've never even met before & hardly ever contact wif...surprised to finali meet him up-close & personal on ma bday...touchinggggg.....
Imagine dis...
Two wooden plankz attached together by two jointz...like a door, it swingz open to reveal a printed picture of mine (an old one in fact) on da top right hand corner, wif a note pasted underneath it, covering da rest of da area on da right...on da left, is a framed pic of a reali cute bear holding 3 pink roses (i lurve roses!~ in any colour, as long as they're roses!~ pretty much ma trademark since i lurve to draw them *WiNkZ*)...this was accompanied wif a huge box of ferrero chocolatez which ma bro happily getz to devour on now...GhEgHeghEee...he muz be grateful dat im allergic to nutz..suker eghkkk.....
Well anywayz, i juz thot dis gift is really something u noe..dahlah tak pernah jumpa orgnye..jarang contact..mane dia dpt my pic pun me tak tahu..gambar lama plak tu..i dun easily give ma pix unless if ma fwenz are helping me wif some sorta editing seh..ni meshti dari zaman AM dulu wen we can easily save another personz pic tao..hmmm.....


Ok next, i got a lovely box which contained cut out coloured paperz of alphabetz A to Z...on these letterz, are wordz representing me...how da person findz me to be...or not...kHeKhEkhEeE...den, underneath it all, was a pair of lovely earringz...i loiiikeee!~

Dun get me wrong or upset wen u dun see your pwezies being personali mentioned here...
No favouritismz of any sort k k... *pEaCe²*
Juz dat, itz amazing how & to wat extent u can do for someone...be it for your family memberz,...your fwenz,...or even your loved onez..

I remember da last tym i did something like dis for sumone.. *SoBz*
I did a frame made out of cardboardz & added some sparkly stuff to it..den i attached a string @ da back, so dat it can be hanged..in da middle was our pic together..good thing it was light..asidez from dat, i oso covered a yellow wooden pencil with our initialz, using coloured markerz..our namez..our nickz..nama manja kite lah katekan..was rather tedious as u haf to be careful not to smudge & stuff..but it turned out fine & he loved it..dunoe if he was juz being nice or something..but i thot it was pretty cool too.. *gRiNz*

Well,...handmade stuff may not be expensive or anything...but i think itz a sincere form of a token of appreciation for someone...ppl akcherli spend some of their precious tym out of their busy life to put a thot on these & carry them out...wat more can u ask for?...i find it reali touching..

As Che'mong likez to say it...

*Touchy, touchy*

FemmeFatale @ 5:10 AM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

For all you people who say, "I love you" when
you have no clue what love is exactly..
Something to ponder upon..

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing
and is your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't love, it's LIKE.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her/him.
It isn't love, it's LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show her/him off?
It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want her because you know she's/he's there?
It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.

Are you with her/him because it's what everyone
wants??
It isn't love, it`s LOYALTY.

Are you with her because she/he kissed you,
or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for her/him confessions of love,
because you don't want to hurt her/him?
It isn't love, it's PITY.

Do you belong to her/him because the sight
of her/him makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.

Do you pardon her faults because you care
about her/him?
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell her/him every day she is the only
one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a LIE.

Are you willing to give up all of your favorite
things for her sake?
It isn't love, it's CHARITY.

--------------------------------------------------
------------
----
--------------------------------------------------
-----

Does your heart ache and break when she's sad?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you cry for her/his pain, even when
she's/he's strong?
Then it's LOVE.

Do her/his eyes see your true heart, and
touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible
mix of pain and relation pulls you close and
holds you to her/him?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you accept her/his faults because it's a
part of who she/he is?
Then it's LOVE.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with
her/him faithfully without regret?
Then it's LOVE.

Would you give her/him your heart, your life,
your death??
Then it's LOVE.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple cause it's..LOVE.

It is such an addictive thing that even people who
are not having it wish to experience it and share it
with others as well.

Love hurts our feeling, but it's also the reason our
soul heal...

oNe LovE.

FemmeFatale @ 5:05 AM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

FemmeFatale @ 5:05 PM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

Wow..how incredibly fast some ppl change..how incredibly fast they can twist & turn their wordz to watever they desire..they may be saying dis & dat one instance, & their actionz convey a totali different msg..whisper sweet nothingz which apparently,..meanz nothing..

Is dis hypocrisy?..i dread having to think so..coz den it will mean a year of ma life haf been wasted on something i believed would be everlasting..but ended up a big fat lie..pardon me for being in a state of denial..i haf to, in order to stay strong..cant kip breaking down @ da thot of it..so many questionz left unanswered..so many doubtz in ma mind..i wish i could turn back tym..make da right decisionz..probably den i wouldn't haf met some ppl i was unfortunate enuff to haf met & spent a portion of ma life wif..regretz?..yeah..full of it..but dis is life..reality is harsh..being in love makez you blind..& deaf..i believe this is so true..not only do you tend to overlook thingz, situationz, ppl, bcoz of dis emotion..u'll also ignore pplz advise & not heed their warningz..even wen these are ppl dat you know..u trust.. *SiGh*

Naive i guess..so naive.. *TeaRy*


THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE IS (Kelly Clarkson)

Ooooohhh
Oooohhhh ya
Mmmmm

Love can be a many splendid thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It’ll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind
It’ll fool you every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Now I was a once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I’ve got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This set story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

The trouble with love is (the trouble with love)
It can tear you up inside (it can tear you up inside)
Make your heart believe a lie (Make your heart believe a lie)
It's stronger than your pride
(The trouble with love is) It's in your heart it's in your soul
(It doesn’t care how fast you fall) You're losing all control
(And you can’t refuse the call)
See you’ve got no say at all
The trouble with love is (Oooo.ya)
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie (the trouble with love..)

FemmeFatale @ 4:00 AM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

Elo ppl!~...im backkk...ehehee...finali changed ma blogskin after sooo long... *phew*
Well, as you can see...i've not done much updating...now dat i've juz turned 21, niat dihati nak bertaubat...so nak rajin-rajinkan diri update blog hamba yg tak seberape ni... *WiNkZ*

Aniwayz, had a fantastic bday celebration on Saturday...da turnout was surprisingly overwhelming.....not dat the whole Singapore came, but a considerable amount of loved onez who spared their tym to cum...i was juz as contented...to tink dat i juz did a last minit "sms-invitation" & asked da word to be passed ard...so not bad lah kan... (",)

Asidez dat, i was touched wen sum darling fwenz of mine volunteered to add some deco to da chalet...originali, i hadn't reali thot of decorating it...so, juz plain & simple kinda thing...den Chek Mon called me in da afternoon & wanted to set up da place...touching kannn...dia tanye nak colour ape...den asked if purple & pink ok tak?...i ckp okay lor...org dah nak buatkan,...so taaaaakkanlah nak cerewet egh...kHeKhEkHeEe... ;p niwayz, dey came late (not surprised)...wAhAHaAa...& instead of da two mentioned colorz, dey bought Mickey Mouse nye set...ok lah tu kan...kiut miut lah tu...courtesy of Chek Mon, Kak ShaSha & Hakim...dunoe if i missed out anyone coz dis was wat Chek Mon told me...so sorry ler if tak mention...oh & tanx to FahMy WhiTe BeaR for helping wif da hanging-hanging of these...maklom,...hang kan tinggi... ;p

Oooh!~ Me got alot of prezies!~...i loikeee...GhEgHeghEeE... ;p
Hmmm...letz see...i got a whole lot of accessoriez seh...some from Taka Jewelleriez, Gold Heart, Moshi Moshi, Perliniz, etc2...i oso got perfumez, watchez, bearz, beautiful crystalz, yummy chocolatez & even fantasticali done handcraftz...they're all awesome!~ So very the touched u noe..... *SoBz*

Well, hope those who came enjoyed themselves...those who got to play da gamez, smoga tak serik-serik... ;p to those i dint get to entertain much, so sorry for not being a gd host lah kan...wif da crowd, itz hard to satisfy everyone mah... *pEaCe pEaCe*

To end off this entry, wanna gif a shoutout to "orang-orang kuat" who made it happen on Saturday...family & fwenz...THANKS FOR EVERYTHING...a 21st bday i will never forget...had a blast...a whale of a tym...so glad to see all ma fwenz, some i've not met in yearz...thanks for all your precious tym...THANKS TO ALL...

FemmeFatale @ 3:19 PM | 0 CoMenTaRioS

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